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Are we doing too much for our kids

Are we doing too much for our kids

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We all want our kids to be happy and successful in whatever they do and of course we are happy to help them along the way. But when does that help become too much?

Kids who aren’t given responsibility and whose parents help them with everything from homework to relationships may struggle to learn to become independent. There is a happy medium that can be reached. Here we’ve gathered some signs that you may be doing too much for your child and show you how you can encourage them to do more for themselves.


Do you find yourself carrying schoolbags around, escorting your kids all the way to the school gates or picking toys up off the floor? If so then you might want to think about the things your child is able to do for herself. For toddlers this might mean stopping accompanying them to the toilet. Older children could perhaps walk to school on their own or with friends. Basically, if you’re child is capable of doing something on her own then encourage her to do it.


Are we doing too much for our kidsDoes your child have her own tasks and duties that she is responsible for or do you helicopter over her making sure everything is done properly? From homework to household chores it’s important that kids develop a sense of responsibility. If your child can’t be bothered to finish her homework and hand it in on time then take a step back and consider whose responsibility it is. Obviously young children need reminded that they have homework that has to be completed but older kids and teenagers can, and should, take responsibility for their own assignments.


Who makes your child’s decisions? Is it she or you? The earlier children learn to make decisions on their own, the more likely they are to make good decisions in the future. This also means you have to let your child make her own mistakes. While this may not come naturally to you as a parent, it’s the only way your child will learn the consequences her decisions may have.


Likewise, if your child hits a problem do you let her try to sort it out for herself or do you weigh in and smooth things over for her? If your child comes to you for help then fair enough, tell her what you think the best solution would be and why. Otherwise, butt out and let her get on with it. You may discover your child is more resourceful that you think!

It can be difficult to take a step back and encourage children to do more for themselves. However, it is worth it in the long run. Kids whose parents do too much for them often struggle with social relationships and new situations, as they’ve never learned the skills they need to deal with them. Obviously there will be some times when you will have to offer extra support and you can’t let go completely but allowing children to learn their own life lessons will help them grow into confident, well-balanced adults.




About Maria Brett

About Maria Brett

Maria is a freelance writer with over 10 years' experience producing content for a variety of publications and websites. When not working or looking after her two gorgeous sons, she can usually be found playing flugelhorn in a brass band, helping out at her local hospital radio station, shouting at the television while watching Formula 1, at the cinema or plonked on the couch with a cold glass of wine.

Website: Maria Brett

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