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Are you suffering the effects of baby quake

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What is baby quake?

Every parent will tell you that having a baby is life changing, you have gone from a couple who are free to do as they please and only have themselves to worry about, to suddenly having another human being who is totally reliant on you in the home. They are demanding, can’t communicate with you, deprive you of sleep and take over your home with all their paraphernalia. Although all this is just part of being a parent and the joy of having a child far outweighs the hard work that goes hand in hand, for many couples, this sudden change in lifestyle can have a huge impact on their relationship.

Are you suffering the effects of baby quake?If you are feeling like your life is not your own anymore and it has started to affect your relationship read on,hopefully the advice will be helpful in restoring a healthy,happy balance back into your lives.

Tiredness

This sudden shake up of your relationship is said to affect around two thirds of parents with around a quarter of men worrying their partner is no longer interested in sex and new mums feeling suddenly isolated staying at home with a baby all day and having no ‘me time’. Add to the mix the sleepless nights, women feeling self conscious about their change in body shape, a breastfeeding baby and no time for you as a couple and you have a potentially toxic situation. It’s very easy to suddenly forget you are a husband or wife as well as a parent, while you just try to make it through the day without biting someone’s head off!

A new-born is tiring and when we’re tired and grumpy our partners are often the first people we take out our frustrations on. The simplest of mistakes such as over heating a bottle or leaving a dirty nappy on the side instead of in the bin can lead to arguments. Our tiredness overrides our ability to empathise and our pent up frustrations burst out over the smallest issue.

baby quake

Talk to each other

Often couples feel their partner doesn’t understand how they’re feeling. For dad, he might be going out to work in a stressful office or enduring physically tiring work for 9 hours a day then coming home to be greeted by a frazzled, highly strung partner who thrusts a screaming baby in his face to take over. He’s just finished his day job to start all over again at home. For mum, she might be thinking dad has it easy, he goes out to work to have a laugh in the office or with his work mates while she is struggling to keep on top of the housework, cook tea, deal with a fractious baby while having zero sleep the previous night. It becomes a competition on who is the most tired  or who’s job is the hardest, because that time when you would normally relax over dinner and chat about how your day had been, or unwind in the bath or watch a movie together, has now disappeared from your life. You aren’t communicating or acting in partnership and the last thing on your mind is igniting the flames of passion when you could be spending those precious moments in bed sleeping.

Remember,you are not alone!

Although you might feel you will never get the old you back, remember that the majority of new parents are going through similar experiences. Talk to your partner about how you’re both feeling, try and make time for yourself or you both, even if it’s just an hour a week at first. When you’ve established a routine for baby and the first months of upheaval are out the way, your love life will start to return, you will start feeling human again and you shouldn’t feel guilty that you hit that bump in your relationship road!

 

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About Rebecca Robinson

About Rebecca Robinson

After spending the last 8 years juggling life as a mum of two, wife and working full time as a Project Manager for a global telecommunications company, Rebecca Robinson made the decision to follow her love of writing and took the plunge; turning her passion into a full time career. Since becoming a full time writer, Rebecca has worked with various media and copy-writing companies and with the ability to make any topic relevant and interesting to the reader, now contributes to The Working Parent on articles ranging from credit cards to teenage relationships. Ever the optimist, Rebecca's dreams for the future include a house in the country filled with children, dogs and horses in the field!

Website: Rebecca Robinson

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