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Dating guide for single mums

Dating guide for single mums

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The dating scene can always feel a bit daunting, even nerve racking – all that getting to know someone again. And you can feel even more exposed when there are children involved as everything has to balance perfectly. Whether your children are young and at home or whether they have flown the nest, the kids come part of the overall package. Below we offer a few tips for dating survival for the single mums out there:-

Searching for love

There never feels like there are enough hours in a day, so when you are ready to try to find love again you wonder where you are going to fit it in. Many single mums use internet dating sites. You can fit in searches around times that suit you best that way. Maybe when the kids are in bed or when they have an afternoon nap, or if they have left home opt for a time when you know they aren’t going to be around to try and take over proceedings for you!

Many sites now have an app you can download to your phone so you can catch a glimpse of a prospective love from your sofa whilst catching up with the soaps!

Many out there

At one time dating agencies seemed a bit ‘lonely hearts’ but not anymore. Dating agencies are the way forward for many people. There are a lot of lovely people out there, like you, that are also seeking love; people who either cannot get out to search for love due to family commitments, work ties or a variety of other reasons. Many of those with children are likely to love kids too so what’s to stop you at least giving it a go?

Put yourself first for once

We get used to being the last in the line for everything and probably don’t really think anything about it anymore, but this time is yours! Immerse yourself in a little ‘me time’. Don’t attend your dates worrying if the kids are stuffing crayons up granddad’s nose whilst he naps, get on and enjoy your dates and talk about yourself, what you like, what you do, how you feel about things. It’s not often we get people to take a genuine interest in us so lap it up!

Dating guide for single mums

Don’t settle for safe

Just because for the first time in ages someone shows you a little attention and they seem safe, don’t settle for it if it isn’t really floating your boat. It’s easy when you haven’t been dating for a while, to try and grab someone because they partly fit the bill. Hold out for someone special and fun someone who can tick all the important boxes – you deserve the best for you and for your children.

See where friendship leads

When you go on a date try to view it initially as making a friend and seeing where it will lead. Try not to think this is ‘the one’ and there is marriage on the cards. You could make yourself appear desperate. Go out and have fun! Don’t turn up in your wedding frock and veil, questioning their preference as to summer/winter weddings!

The Ex-Factor

Whilst you don’t want to spend your date rattling on about each other’s exes, the subject is bound to pop up. Be honest with your date about where you are with an ex and also try to establish where they are with theirs. You don’t want to fall head over heels, introduce the newbie to your kids only to realise they are desperately in love with their former partner and are likely to be heading back to them any time soon.

Dating as a single mum is different to dating as a single person. You need to be able to fit the time for finding love around the kids and make sure you get what you want whilst knowing that the kids will love them too. It is not always likely to work out on the first date or even the second, but be certain in knowing that you are taking positive steps towards finding new love and things should eventually come together. Enjoy the ride to your destination.






About Shani Fowler

About Shani Fowler

Shani is 46 years old and a mum to a five year old little boy, Zak. Together with her husband and German Shepherd Bo, they live in Rothwell, Leeds. For over twenty years Shani worked as a Practice Manager in a Solicitors Practice. During her time there she was lucky enough to have been put through University and studied for four years, obtaining a BA (Hons) Degree in Business Studies. Sadly, the Solicitors Practice closed in September of 2012 but the time felt right to spread her wings a little and set up a Freelance Bookkeeping Service which so far has been successful. The flexibility also allows Shani to focus on her passion for writing too. She love reading, writing and dancing and has been dancing for about ten years now despite her husband insisting she's not improved, and informing her she possesses the fluidity of movement similar to that of C3PO (the robot from Star Wars)! Her favourite film is Shaw Shank Redemption, closely followed by Chicago, American Beauty and Philadelphia and her favourite book is Rachel’s Holiday by Marian Keyes. Shani loves to holiday in Ixia, Greece, loves the Lake District and most of all loves her family (including Bo), friends and loves to laugh!

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