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How to React When Your Daughter Introduces Her First Boyfriend

I have a five year old daughter, and although this subject is one I won’t have to face for some time, it stills scares me in the same way clowns scare normal people. I am dreading those words, ‘Dad, this is my boyfriend’, and how I will react. I’m sure it will happen the same way I have seen it happen numerous times to friends, my daughter will tell her mum and her mum will tell me. When it comes to my daughter I take my lead from the most unlikely place, the John Candy character ‘Uncle Buck’ who dealt with his niece’s romantic interest by offering to “bury the Hatchet… you do know what a Hatchet is right?” and then beating the would-be lover with golf balls. Perhaps not ideal but fun!

Open communication

When it comes to boyfriend’s, I know my daughter will be alright; she’s clever and doesn’t suffer fools so there is no worry that she’ll be led astray, but not all girls are so strong minded. The general policy I was told when I was being offered advice by my mother was – ‘she’ll do what she wants to do, you can either choose to have her tell you what she’s doing and give her the skills to be smart about it, or she can do it behind your back.’daughters boyfriend What she means by that is it’s better for your daughter to come to you and introduce her new love interest rather than sneak about behind your back and be too scared to tell you anything. If you react negatively then she will be scared to tell you anything again in the future, so be nice to him, shake his hand, invite him to dinner and meet his parents, resist the temptation to duct tape him to a chair and quiz him about his past, as this will lead to negative feelings. If you play it cool and support her then when it all goes wrong she’ll be happy to come see you and talk to you about it, remember your first love interest?

I remember my first proper girlfriend introducing me to her family and her dad taking it really well, despite the fact his little princess had just brought a boy wearing ripped combat trousers and an Iron Maiden t-shirt into his kitchen, he was lovely about it – even though I know he probably wanted to frog march me back out the door.

Good parenting

I suppose the key is to bring them up right, give them the confidence to make their own decisions and have a relationship with them that means they are happy to be open with you about how they feel. Being negative and telling them they won’t be seeing the boy will create a rift make it harder for her to talk to you. Obviously if your fifteen year old daughter brings home a twenty year old boyfriend then break out the duct tape and golf clubs because it’s time for a quiet chat.

There’s nothing that having an open heart to heart with your little princess can’t sort out, she’s an intelligent and modern woman and letting her discover the world for herself will make her a better person, having said that you can always follow the late John Ritter in ‘8 Simple Rules’, “I’m Bridget’s Dad, my friends call me Sensei”

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About Steven Petter

About Steven Petter

Steve has three children, Connor, Harmony-Skye and Fletcher. He is a Martial Arts enthusiast as well as an avid reader of books about Philosophy, he began writing short stories and also writes music reviews.

Website: Steven Petter

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