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Dealing with a jealous friend

Dealing with a jealous friend

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It may not be an attractive trait but we all feel jealousy from time to time. Jealousy can lead to negativity and put a strain on even the best relationships. However, while you may be able to deal with jealousy on your own part, dealing with someone else’s can be a little trickier. The jealousy of a friend towards you can be particularly difficult to deal with – you can’t control how she is feeling but at the same time you want to support her through her emotions.

Put yourself in her shoes

Take a step back and consider why your friend might be feeling jealous of you. A bit of empathy goes a long away and if you can understand the underlying issues then you may be able to help, even if it’s just acting as a sounding board for her to let go of her insecurities.

Spend time together

Depending on the reason for your friend’s jealous behaviour, spending time together can often help. For example, if she is jealous of a new relationship or friendship then organising some quality time together can help show that you haven’t forgotten her. It doesn’t have to always be just you and her, invite her along to wherever you’re going with other mates too.


Dealing with a jealous friendYour friend may just need a little encouragement to get her own life on track. Once you know where her insecurities lie it will be easier to help. Focus on her strong points and help her build self-esteem. Point out all the things she has or can do that you’d love to be able to say about yourself.

Be sensitive

Of course you should be happy and able to share your accomplishments. However, it’s nice to be sensitive to what’s going on in your friend’s life too. This means that after sharing your news you shouldn’t go on and on about it. If your friend wants to chat about it then great, if not then find someone else to discuss it with.

Don’t tolerate manipulative behaviour

In some people, jealousy can manifest itself by putting other people down or trying to trip them up so that they make mistakes. Being empathic is all very well but that doesn’t mean you have to put up with manipulative behaviour or your friend putting you down all the time. Set aside some time to sensitively bring up the issue or, if you’d rather avoid confrontation, leave her be for a while and allow her time to deal with her jealousy on her own.

Keep your head held high

Whatever happens, you have the right to be pleased about things going well. While your friend may wish she were enjoying the same success in life, a true friend will be supportive and genuinely pleased for you.

Ending a friendship

If your friend’s jealousy has been going on for some time and is having a negative impact on you and your friendship, then it may be time to cut ties. Ending a friendship is never easy (especially in the age of social media!) but sometimes it’s a necessary evil. Life is too short to spend on friendships that are no longer fun and rewarding.



About Maria Brett

About Maria Brett

Maria is a freelance writer with over 10 years' experience producing content for a variety of publications and websites. When not working or looking after her two gorgeous sons, she can usually be found playing flugelhorn in a brass band, helping out at her local hospital radio station, shouting at the television while watching Formula 1, at the cinema or plonked on the couch with a cold glass of wine.

Website: Maria Brett

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