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Ending a friendship

ending a friendship
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Breaking up with a partner is painful and, rightly so, those around you will (hopefully) shower you with sympathy and support if it happens.  However, ending a friendship doesn’t seem to warrant the same level of emotional outpouring.  Despite being the best of chums for years (probably longer than you were with your partner) and sharing everything with each other, the end of a friendship is rarely portrayed as being all that heartbreaking.  But that’s not to say that ending a friendship isn’t difficult.

The word ‘friend’ can be used to describe all sorts of people, from the person you turn to when you have a problem and call for no reason right through to old drinking buddies and workmates.  Obviously some people we call friends flit in and out of our lives as we change jobs, move home or just grow up and these friendships often peter out without much drama.  However, sometimes you find yourself having to make a conscious decision to end a friendship and that can be tough.

ending a friendship

We all grow up!

People’s lives change dramatically between their teens and their 30’s or 40’s.  Even taking children out of the equation, things like work, moving location, evolving interests and changing priorities can all put strain on even the strongest of friendships.  Whereas once you were inseperable, now you struggle to fit in time to spend with each other.  This isn’t necessarily a sign that your friendship is coming to a close, some friends can go weeks or even months without speaking to each other and when they do get together it’s like they saw each other only yesterday.  However, sometimes calling time on a friendship is the right thing to do.  So what are the signs that your friendship is no longer worth fighting for?

  • You only hear from your friend if she wants something.
  • It feels like your friend only ever gets in touch when there is some drama going on in her life yet she never makes time for you when you need her.
  • One of the friends is doing all the contacting while the other never gets in touch and cancels plans left, right and centre.
  • Putting on an act

Friends should love you for who you are and if you can’t be yourself around them then what’s the point?  Walking on eggshells every time you open your mouth doesn’t form a healthy friendship.

Betrayal

This can be anything from repeating something you told her in confidence to infidelity.  If you can no longer trust each other then there is little point in trying to continue as friends.

As much as we’d like to believe that a good friend is there for life, sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way.  Everyone has friends they have drifted apart from or made a decision to take a step back from; otherwise we’d all still be kicking around with the people we went to school with and everyone else we formed bonds with as we grew up.  The nature of friendship demands that it evolves with you and if it doesn’t then it can be best to remember the good times and move on.

 

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About Maria Brett

About Maria Brett

Maria is a freelance writer with over 10 years' experience producing content for a variety of publications and websites. When not working or looking after her two gorgeous sons, she can usually be found playing flugelhorn in a brass band, helping out at her local hospital radio station, shouting at the television while watching Formula 1, at the cinema or plonked on the couch with a cold glass of wine.

Website: Maria Brett

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