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How to end a friendship


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How to tell someone you no longer want to be friends

Friends come and go as we make our way through life. Sometimes friendships end naturally with both parties simply losing touch but now and again there comes a point when you have to tell someone that you no longer wish to be a part of their life. It’s never going to be an easy conversation to have and being tempted just to carry on as normal is understandable, but there is a lot to be said for being honest with yourself as well as the other person. That doesn’t mean you have to hurt their feelings though, and there are ways you can break off a friendship while minimising the hurt that might be caused.

Don’t rush into anything

Before you make any firm decisions, take some time to think about what you’re doing and why. There must be a reason you became friends in the first place so take into account any positives you gain from the friendship. If you haven’t mentioned the things that are bugging you before then it’s worth having a chat and seeing if things change. If negative points can be dealt with, then it may be that your friendship just needs to take a different form rather than cutting it off altogether. Perhaps you could meet for a coffee every so often rather than spending loads of time in each other’s houses?  However, if you find your friend is untrustworthy, gets you into trouble or has done something to really hurt you then perhaps it is time to call it a day.

Plan what you’ll say

While you’ll probably want to keep the conversation as short as possible, your friend will probably want to know what she’s done wrong. Have your reasons for ending the friendship clear in your own head and express them politely. Don’t go off on a rant about everything she’s ever done that niggled at you. Keep it brief and stick to the main points.

Keep it to yourself

By all means, have things out with your friend in an open and honest way but don’t talk about her behind her back. This is particularly important if you share mutual friends. Anything that gets back to your friend will probably be taken out of context and will only cause more hurt.

Hint at how you are feeling

ending a friendshipIf you can’t put your finger on what is wrong and you’d really rather not ‘officially’ end the friendship then dropping some hints might work. However, suddenly stopping calling or making plans together can be as, if not more, hurtful as talking things through so be gentle and don’t cut your friend off completely. Hinting works best as a run up to ending a friendship rather than a method in its own right. Once your friend has noticed that you’re being a bit distant then it won’t come as such a shock when you say you don’t want to spend so much time together anymore.

Let it go naturally

Often people find they just drift out of friendships. If this is the case and you are already beginning to see less of each other then it might be worth just riding it out and letting the friendship come to its natural conclusion. There is no point in stressing yourself out and offending your friend if you’re going to end up losing touch anyway. This also means that if and when you do bump into each other again you won’t feel awkward. You’ll be able to have a nice chat and leave it at that.





About Maria Brett

About Maria Brett

Maria is a freelance writer with over 10 years' experience producing content for a variety of publications and websites. When not working or looking after her two gorgeous sons, she can usually be found playing flugelhorn in a brass band, helping out at her local hospital radio station, shouting at the television while watching Formula 1, at the cinema or plonked on the couch with a cold glass of wine.

Website: Maria Brett

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