Is your partner controlling
Written by: Maria Brett
If your partner seems to be more interested in influencing your behaviour than in considering your happiness then they may be too controlling. Being in a relationship with a control freak is rarely healthy, for either partner, and in many cases can actually be classed as domestic abuse. If you think your partner may be too controlling then here are some signs to look out for.
Walking on eggshells
Sitting on the couch watching television together should be a time when you feel you can come out with whatever thought happens to be roaming around your head, no matter how weird or stupid. However, if you have to watch what you say around your partner then this may be a sign that something is wrong in the relationship. Obviously, everyone has their off days or a certain subject can become taboo but you can’t be expected to walk on eggshells all the time.
Lack of encouragement
This might be disguised as ‘I love you and can’t bear to lose you’ but lack of support and encouragement is a sure-fire sign of a controlling relationship. You may be offered an amazing opportunity but your partner is reluctant for you to grab it as they don’t want to spend less time with you or feel like you’re the more successful partner in the relationship.
Taking charge
Does your partner take charge of things like money, internet or the car and control how much you can use? If so, ask yourself why this is the case. Is it just because they’re more organised and better at budgeting? Or do they constantly feel the need to know what you’re spending money and time on? Controlling partners often take charge of bank accounts and assets, making it difficult for the other partner to leave.
Jealousy
From going through your mobile phone to ‘banning’ you from seeing certain people in your life, some people’s jealousy leads them to control their partners. You may never have given your partner any reason to be jealous, but if you find yourself avoiding mentioning the names of friends and colleagues of the opposite sex, it’s likely your partner is the possessive jealous type. Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship and without it it’s difficult to move forward.
Ask your friends
Your friends and family know you best and will have noticed any changes in your personality that may have come about through a partner’s controlling behaviour. They may have even mentioned it before, you might have been too caught up in the bubble of romance to see what they were saying. Ask your mates for an honest opinion and take on board what they have to say. Try not to get defensive – after all, you wouldn’t have asked for their thoughts if you didn’t think there was a problem.
Your partner should be the person you can turn to with anything, who will make you feel loved, appreciated and looked after. Nobody should feel manipulated, intimidated or controlled by their partner and if you feel that way then maybe it’s time to end the relationship.
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