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My Ex Wants To Move Away With The Kids

My Ex Wants To Move Away With The Kids
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Even if you’re on the best of terms with your ex, relationships can easily become strained if s/he decides to move away taking your children with him/her.

What’s best for the kids?

Although you will probably be upset at the fact your children are moving so far away from you, you have to ask yourself what is best for the children. The prospect of a new job or being closer to other family members may actually give them a better quality of life. Be honest with yourself and try to see things from the other perspective (easier said than done, we know!). If you decide that it would be better for your children to remain local or live with you then you may need to be prepared for a custody battle.

Custody

Going to court for custody is only really an option if you have parental responsibility for the children. Mothers are automatically given parental responsibility for their children and fathers will usually have it if they were married to the mother when the children were born, they jointly registered the birth and were included on the birth certificate (this only applies to children born after 1 December 2003) or if they have been granted parental responsibility by the mother or a court. The court won’t be interested in how the proposed move will affect you so you’ll have to show how it will have a negative impact on the children.

Agree on contact

My Ex Wants To Move Away With The KidsIf your children are moving away then obviously the level of contact you have with them will change. If time and funds allow, try to visit them or have them visit you as often as possible. Rather than seeing them a couple of nights a week you may have them for a weekend or over the school holidays. Presuming you are on decent terms with your ex, arranging to see your children less often but for longer periods of time should not be a problem. Otherwise you may have to obtain a contact order from court for regular access. While this may seem daunting, the courts use a principle called ‘presumption’ of contact’ when deciding cases. This means that unless there is a genuine reason why it wouldn’t benefit your kids to spend time with you, such as addiction or a history violence, it’s likely the courts will act in your favour. Around 90% of all contact order applications are granted.

Keep in touch

Technology has come so far that we no longer have to rely on just phone conversations and snail mail to keep in touch with loved ones living miles away. Video calls allow you to see each other while you chat and your kids will be able to show you things like school certificates, trophies or medals they might have won. Social media lets you keep up to date with their photos and is a great way of keeping in touch even if you don’t have time to sit down for a long chat.

Emotional upheaval

Of course, you’re going to miss your kids if they move, particularly if you’re used to seeing them a few times a week. Try to maintain contact with them as often as you usually would. Give them a call on evenings when you’d usually be spending time together. You can even use apps like Skype to watch a favourite television show ‘together’ from different ends of the country.

 

 

 

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About Maria Brett

About Maria Brett

Maria is a freelance writer with over 10 years' experience producing content for a variety of publications and websites. When not working or looking after her two gorgeous sons, she can usually be found playing flugelhorn in a brass band, helping out at her local hospital radio station, shouting at the television while watching Formula 1, at the cinema or plonked on the couch with a cold glass of wine.

Website: Maria Brett

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