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My teenage daughter is pregnant

my teenage daughter is pregnant
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My teenage daughter is pregnant! – Probably not the words most parents will relish saying. Drugs, sexually transmitted diseases and teenage pregnancy are probably the three major worries a parent has for their children and finding out your teenage daughter is expecting a baby can throw families into turmoil. Parents will encounter a range of emotions from anger to the guilt of feeling they maybe should have done more to prevent it. However, at the heart of the issue is your daughter who will need your support now more than ever as she prepares for her life changing journey.

Initial reaction

Very few teenage pregnancies are planned and this is probably as much of a shock to her as it is for you, so though you might initially be cross and upset, try and put your feelings aside and remain as supportive as possible. You may all want some space after the initial shock of the announcement and the chances are she is feeling a whole lot worse than you as her life has gone from planning shopping trips with friends or worrying about exams to preparing for a pregnancy and motherhood. You can’t undo what’s happened but you can plan for the future so sit down as discuss how she is feeling and go through all of the options available to her.my teenage daughter is pregnant

Talk about options

The decision must be hers alone and she must realise whatever she decides it will have an affect on her for the rest of her life whether she goes through with the pregnancy or not. Having a baby will have very definite and physical impact on her but going through an abortion can also leave emotional scars she must prepare for.

Affects on the rest of the family

If she chooses to keep her baby you must prepare for the changes that are going to affect the family as a whole. She must understand a baby is the biggest commitment you can ever undertake and is hard work; her days as a carefree teenager will come to an abrupt halt and she will have another person to be responsible for. If your daughter still lives at home and is planning to stay with you after the baby is born, discuss how this will affect other family members. Babies will cry in the night, keeping the household awake and all their belongings take up room.

What about the baby’s father?

Speak with her about her relationship with the baby’s father. Is he prepared to support her financially as well as emotionally and is he the kind of guy that will be a positive role model for her baby. If he’s abusive or the relationship is an unhappy one, she should remember her baby now comes first and there are plenty more (nicer) fish in the sea. Check she has the support of her friends and you could encourage her to go to a support group aimed at teenage parents to help her come to terms with her situation and get information and advice. She might find going to parenting classes helpful too as often teenagers find it easier to take advice from anyone other than their parents!

Help prepare

You should help your daughter prepare for the baby as much as possible from helping find baby equipment to ensuring she stays healthy. Shop around for good deals on furniture, prams and clothing and check she is eating a nutritionally balanced diet, not smoking or drinking or putting her own health or that of her baby’s at risk. Try and plan for life after the baby’s arrival and although as her parent you will want to support your daughter as much as possible, you should encourage her to be responsible for her own child; this probably means a stop to nights out with friends every weekend. Helping out and babysitting on occasion is perfectly acceptable but try not to devoid her of all responsibility and take it on yourself, her baby is her own and hers to care for.my teenage daughter is pregnant

Educational options

You should also discuss her education and encourage her to continue with it as much as possible. There are an increasing amount of schemes available to help teenage mums go back to school or college with help available for child care. Encouraging her to get the best education she can, will help her provide a stable and secure future for her and her child in the long run.

Even though becoming a grandparent so soon probably isn’t something you’d planned for, accept the situation and make the most of it. Being a grandparent is fun, the excitement of a new arrival can often bring families together and the support you give your daughter will be appreciated more than you’ll ever know!

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About Rebecca Robinson

About Rebecca Robinson

After spending the last 8 years juggling life as a mum of two, wife and working full time as a Project Manager for a global telecommunications company, Rebecca Robinson made the decision to follow her love of writing and took the plunge; turning her passion into a full time career. Since becoming a full time writer, Rebecca has worked with various media and copy-writing companies and with the ability to make any topic relevant and interesting to the reader, now contributes to The Working Parent on articles ranging from credit cards to teenage relationships. Ever the optimist, Rebecca's dreams for the future include a house in the country filled with children, dogs and horses in the field!

Website: Rebecca Robinson

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