Home / Family Articles / Possessive relationships

Possessive relationships

Possessive relationships

Written by:

When you first start seeing someone it can seem romantic when they want to know everything about you: who your friends are, what you’ve been doing all day, who you spend time with and so on. However, after a while what was once cute can become taxing and exhausting.

What Is A Possessive Relationship?

Possessive relationships vary wildly in seriousness but are rarely healthy. Of course, we’re all different and what would infuriate one person may be totally acceptable to another. The key is that both partners are happy in the relationship and with the way they are being treated by their significant other. Everybody wants to feel loved but sometimes a partner’s expression of love can be suffocating.

If you’re not happy in your relationship it may be that the other person is being a little too possessive, intruding too much on your independence. It’s not always easy to spot a possessive relationship, especially if things started out great but there are some warning signals that you should look out for.


Possessive relationshipsWhen people think of possessive relationships the first thing that often pops into the head is the subject of jealousy. Whether it’s acting unreasonably towards your friends of the opposite sex or being unhappy that you spend time with friends and family, possessive partners can let jealousy spoil a good relationship. A jealous partner may even request passwords to your social media accounts and mobile phone so that they can keep tabs on you and the people you chat to. Obviously sharing passwords is not always unhealthy but if your partner uses them to check up on you then there may be jealousy or trust issues that need to be addressed.


Disrespecting a partner can be a way of ensuring that person doesn’t leave. By putting someone down or trivialising achievements, a possessive person can eat away at their partner’s self esteem, making them feel like they would never meet and be loved by anyone else.

Controlling behaviour

There are many ways in which someone can try to control their partner. It could be big things like not letting you work or taking control of all the finances or smaller things such as choosing your clothes or how you wear your hair. These seemingly little things are just as important though. The control can be subtle using emotions to get at you or it could be physical and more obvious.


Many controlling people use manipulation to get their own way. They may threaten to leave or hurt themselves if you don’t do what they want. This can be used to make sure you spend most of your time with your partner and away from friends and family.


Most relationships go through a phase when you’re just getting to know each other and talk or text all the time. This is normal but it does usually calm down as the relationship becomes more serious. If your partner is always calling or texting to check up on you then it may be a warning signal that they are perhaps a bit too possessive of you.

If you recognise these traits in your partner then it’s probably time to sit down together and have a talk about it, otherwise, things are just going to get worse. The more you pander to possessiveness, the more possessive your partner is likely to become.






About Maria Brett

About Maria Brett

Maria is a freelance writer with over 10 years' experience producing content for a variety of publications and websites. When not working or looking after her two gorgeous sons, she can usually be found playing flugelhorn in a brass band, helping out at her local hospital radio station, shouting at the television while watching Formula 1, at the cinema or plonked on the couch with a cold glass of wine.

Website: Maria Brett

View all posts by