Written by: Shani Fowler
Sometimes we are intuitive regarding our relationships and just know when something’s not right. In those circumstances we might be bold enough to ask our partner if we suspect they are cheating, but quite often even if they are we will be told “no”. We may be even led to believe that it’s all in our head, which serves to confuse. So as well as relying on our intuition there are signs we can look for if we suspect our partner is cheating. Here are a few indicators that there could be trouble in paradise:-
Just good friends?
If your partner suddenly has a new friend that seems to be popping up in conversation a lot and they seem to throw a lot of time at this ‘new friend’, you can bet there is likely more to it than meets the eye. Whatever reasons are given for this new relationship check it out for yourself – it can be a red flag, a big warning sign that should not be ignored.
A new desire for more privacy?
Has your partner suddenly become more private over the things that used to be common knowledge between you? A cheating partner may start protecting their computer and mobile phones by applying passwords. They may begin to hide their bank or credit card statements. Dare to ask why the sudden secrecy and you might be met with accusations of snooping or rants of “don’t you trust me?” No you don’t and you need to know why there have suddenly been walls of secrecy built.
Using more time on their phone or computer
Along with their desire for more privacy, there can be a high usage of those gadgets they are so keen to protect! People don’t have to leave the confines of their arm chair to firstly look for, and secondly dedicate time to an extra love interest. Watch out for those extra hours whiled away on modern technology – find out who has captured so much of their time suddenly.
“I need a little time”
If your partner expresses the need for time alone or away from the family, it can be an indicator that they are involved with someone else and they are simply trying to figure out how to get a little ‘free time’ with their new companion. They may even claim that they need the time away to de-stress from work or state that they are confused with how they feel. Again these are signs that should set the alarm bells ringing.
Changed work routine
A classic sign that there could be someone else in the wings, is a change to your partner’s normal working routine. Are they suddenly coming home late claiming that they’re having to work? Or are they heading into work extra early and/or getting overly spruced up to go to work? All these can be signs that there is a little more going on than you would like.
Two add two equals five!
Sometimes things just don’t add up. The disappearance of money, receipts you find but you don’t recall seeing the actual purchase, little lies that have been exposed or behaviour that is unusual. Trust your instinct as well as the facts that seem to be stacking against them and do a little digging round before you speak to your partner about it all.
If you confront your partner you might ask for honesty from them, but at first you’re more likely to be issued with a pack of lies. Make sure you get the truth, even if it’s not what you want to hear, the truth is best and usually will out in the end!
If there has been cheating it doesn’t have to be the end, but there are certain serious issues that need addressing before choosing to move on. There are also organisations that can help counsel and guide you through saving the relationship if that is what you choose; but it’s always better to continue in the face of the honesty rather than brush your worst fears under the carpet.