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Three steps to increased confidence


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Confidence is one of those things that can be likened to a muscle. If practiced it will become stronger, if left to it’s own devices it may well waste away. Certainly some personalities are more predisposed to it than others, but it is possible for anyone to increase their confidence over time. Confidence is basically about having a trusting attitude in your ability to get through life and is very linked to taking responsibility for how things go for you.

Riding the lows as well as enjoying the highs

Life will inevitably throw you curve balls; during these times your resilience is tested and you get to see a clearer picture of how you cope under pressure. Rather than defend against reality, see if you can reframe difficult periods into opportunities for learning to slow down, taking stock and building up your inner resources. Identify what helps you cope in these times and put those things in place.

Sometimes tough phases in life present us with little choice but to put ourselves first and if your tendency is to be a caretaker of others, this will be a perfect opportunity to do things differently. Watch how you talk about challenging times, our language shows so much about our inner dialogue, so see if you can catch yourself speaking from a place of powerlessness and portraying yourself in a victim position. If this is going on, make a conscious choice to reframe the way you talk from a perspective of opportunity and confidence in yourself that you will find what you need in order to get through the challenge.

Accepting yourself in all the different ways

three steps to increased confidenceSelf-acceptance is another area that really affects our confidence. By consciously choosing to learn to love and accept ourselves the way we are, we introduce a much more relaxed feeling. When you catch yourself judging how you are managing something in your life, make a decision to reframe how you both think about it and how you speak about it. You deserve to feel good about yourself, everyone does, and the beginning steps of this process start with you.

Whether you’re learning something new or doing something extremely familiar again, find ways of describing your experience both to yourself and others, that are both realistic and generous. If you find yourself judging why you haven’t done something in the way you wanted, explore the reasons why you didn’t do so and give voice to them. This introduces a much more compassionate rather than blaming perspective.

All of us have bits to our personality and behaviours that are a bit tricky. Make friends with these and take them a bit less seriously. If you know you are shy or prone to anxiety, find a way of saying so or even introduce a bit of affectionate humour to the way you talk about yourself.

Spend time doing what you love

If you take the time and trouble to create a life doing things you enjoy, your feelings of self-worth and confidence will inevitably rise. It doesn’t matter what it is, it could be anything from collecting specific editions of books to an extreme sport, whatever works for you. Prioritise a certain amount of time every week when you just focus on your own needs and enjoyment.




About Jenny Smith

About Jenny Smith

Jenny Smith is a freelance writer and facilitator specialising in mental health, well-being and ecotherapy. She writes for National Mind and The Working Parent and facilitates training in the Work that Reconnects and Ecotherapy. She is inspired by nature, gardening, love and non-duality teachings

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