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What to do if you think your partner is cheating

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When you enter a relationship and fall in love with someone, you give that person your heart and trust that they won’t break it. That trust might not last forever though and if you suspect your partner may be cheating on you it can be easy to react without thinking. But doing so may end up making matters worse.

Gather your thoughts

If you suspect your partner is having an affair, then it pays to take some time to gather your thoughts and feelings, as well as any knowledge you need to make an informed decision about what to do next. Firstly you need to consider your reason for thinking something is up. Did someone see your partner with someone else? And if so, do you trust that person more than your partner? Was it something you saw yourself? Has your partner been acting differently and if this is the case could there be another reason for their change in behaviour?

Wrongly accusing your other half of cheating can be just as detrimental to a relationship as an affair. Your partner will take from it that you don’t trust them and will be hurt that you think they might do that to you. So before confronting your partner you need to be clear about why you are having this conversation in the first place.

Ask them

suspect yur partner is cheatingThe simplest way of finding out for sure is often to ask. Don’t fly off the handle or be too confrontational but explain why you think this might be happening and give your partner a chance to clarify things. Presumably, you know each other really well so it will be difficult for them to lie to you but look at body language and the way in which they respond to gauge whether they are telling the truth.

Give your significant other the chance to explain and listen to their side of the story. It might turn out that you have completely the wrong end of the stick and your relationship has a much better chance of survival if you remain calm and don’t lash out. Unless there is cut and dried evidence either way, you are going to need some time to figure out who or what you believe.

Got it wrong?

If you do suspect your partner of cheating and it turns out you’ve got it wrong then perhaps it is a good idea to examine why. Is trust (or lack of) usually an issue in your relationships? Did you have sound reason to suspect there was something wrong this time? In general do you trust your partner? These are all important questions that need to be dealt with before you can completely move on. If it turns out your suspicions were well-founded then it’s important to get to the bottom of why the affair happened. You should also make an appointment to get checked for STDs.

You both need to think about what you want to happen next in the relationship – do you want to work things out and stay together or is it time to call it a day? These decisions need to be talked about (with friends as well as your partner) and not rushed into.

 

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About Maria Brett

About Maria Brett

Maria is a freelance writer with over 10 years' experience producing content for a variety of publications and websites. When not working or looking after her two gorgeous sons, she can usually be found playing flugelhorn in a brass band, helping out at her local hospital radio station, shouting at the television while watching Formula 1, at the cinema or plonked on the couch with a cold glass of wine.

Website: Maria Brett

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