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Why do I feel so angry?

why do i feel so angry

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Anger is a very personal thing, and it can strike at any moment. Sometimes we ask ourselves why do i feel so angry and we don’t always know the answer straight away.

Where does anger come from?

Triggers for anger come in many forms and the way in which we respond will depend on how we are feeling at the time.  Feelings of anger may result from something as simple as someone disagreeing with a principle that is dear to our hearts, or as from something overt as being verbally or physically assaulted.

upset woman after miscarriage

Anger tends to arise as a response to feeling unhappy about something, which is usually the result of experiencing something unpleasant.  Finding ourselves in situations that we dislike, or when we have to put up with or face something we would rather avoid, we feel out of control and sad.  When this general feeling of unhappiness becomes overwhelming, it can bubble over into anger.  It can happen slowly, building up over time before it explodes, or it can be triggered in an instant.

We are often taught when growing up to suppress anger as an undesirable emotion.  This can lead to problems, as buried negative emotions inevitably find a way to come out sooner or later.  We may see this in the way we express disproportionate annoyance and snap at our partner for a minor irritation, on the back of having suppressed the desire to yell at a work colleague who spilt coffee on a finished report earlier in the day.  Taking out the anger on a “safe” person is a common, but unhealthy reaction.

What Happens When we Feel Angry

Everyone experiences the same physiological response to anger.  The emotion stimulates the release of the hormone adrenaline, which has several effects:

  • Increased heart rate
  • Breathing more quickly
  • Elevated levels of sweat

These physical changes prepare the body for action, improving reaction times and priming the body for a quick response.  Unfortunately it can also affect our ability to think straight, and this can lead to us taking impulsive actions which we may later regret.

why do i feel so angry

Anger Management

Although it has many negative connotations, anger can in fact be a very positive emotion if channelled appropriately.  Anger is like a red flag that signals to us something is wrong and needs to be corrected, that there is a problem that needs to be solved.  It is a great motivator, and can provide immense resources of energy and strength.

Unmanaged, anger can lead to loud and aggressive verbal tirades including threats and swearing, or lead to physical lashing out, breaking things or hitting people.  Some individuals will turn their anger on themselves, internalising it or self-harming.  Keeping it in can lead to health complications such as depression, anxiety and high blood pressure.  It is easy to see why managing anger appropriately can be beneficial to everyone.


Learning to recognise your own triggers for anger is the first step to managing it effectively.  Make a note to yourself of the circumstances that make you angry.  When you recognise these triggers as they happen, try to take a mental “time-out” and count to 10 before you allow yourself to respond, and breathe slowly.  This will help to calm you down and allow you to think more rationally.

Then find a way to let you anger out appropriately.  In the long term, exercise, healthy eating and general relaxation techniques or activities that you find calming will help to reduce your general level of tension and stop you getting as angry whatever the situation.

Anger is a problem if it is having a negative effect on you or those around you, so do seek help if you need it.  Your GP can help, and there are many valuable resources and support networks online.





About Cally Worden

About Cally Worden

Seasoned freelance writer Cally Worden lives with her family and dog in a quiet corner of rural France. A love of the outdoors, and a fascination with her children's ability to view life with fresh eyes provide the inspiration for much of her work. Cally writes regularly for various websites and UK print publications on subjects as diverse as parenting, travel, lifestyle, and business, and anything that makes her smile.

Website: Cally Worden

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