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Couple time

couple time
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 Making time for each other

Remember what life was like before the kids came along? When your names weren’t just ‘mum’ and ‘dad’? The chances are you probably don’t. While dressing up for a night out was once a half day’s activity in itself, you’re probably lucky if you get to put a comb through your hair and slap some make up on now. However, it’s important to maintain your relationship, identity and closeness as a couple for the sake of the whole family. Happy parents make for secure and happy children, so you need to make couple time together – even if your children are not happy at the sight of you leaving the house.

Book in ‘date nights’

It may be easier said than done, but here are a few ideas on how to fit ‘date night’ into an already busy family/work schedule.

  • Go out in the evening after the children have gone to bed. That way you can still get them tucked in before you leave.
  • See an afternoon movie and have an early dinner. You can spend time with the family in the morning, have a few hours off as a couple and still be back for bedtime. It also means you don’t need to lose out on any valuable sleep if a late night is not appealing to you right now, even with the best will in the world.
  • Don’t put off having special time together because of budgetary constraints. Even a walk in the fresh air for an hour or two can be enough to help you reconnect after a busy week.
  • Meet up with friends – especially friends you had before you were parents – as this will remind you of who you are as a couple.
couple time

Of course everyone’s circumstances are different and some couples are very good at making time for each other and this can also depend largely on the wider support network in place. Some people have very hands-on parents who often spend time with their grandchildren while others have to rely on paid-for babysitters.

Time away

In any case, try to get away overnight – even if it’s just for one night, once a year. Many parents don’t like to do this when their children are small, but again it depends on the individual circumstances. If you’re able to arrange it in a way that you are comfortable with, one special night away can be just as rejuvenating as a week’s holiday.

You might find you’re so exhausted that you just crash out in the hotel room, unburdened from the thought of having to get up several times throughout the night. But make sure you use the time to talk and reconnect – even if this means unplugging the TV for a while and just enjoying each other’s company.

 

 

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