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Maintaining a healthy relationship

5 tips for maintaining a healthy relationship
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Our closest relationships can be both our greatest gifts in life and our deepest challenges. They can very often become the places where we feel safe enough to both shine and unfortunately, dump aspects of ourselves that are normally kept out of view. It can be all too easy to start taking primary relationships for granted and forget that, like anything in life, they too need feeding and nourishing in order to become the best that is possible.

Centre your relationships

When things are stretched with work demands and children to support relationships are often bottom of the pile but in reality their place is at the centre so that as they strengthen, all other aspects of outer life will benefit too. Here are a few pointers for ways in which you can feed your primary relationships.

Prioritise time

Firstly make a decision to prioritise them and carve out quality time. You and your partner may have different ideas about what constitutes quality time, so it’s important to negotiate a way in which both of your needs will be met. If your need is to create a romantic atmosphere and become intimate and their need is to be out and about enjoying a film and good food, see if you can come up with enough time to do both or take it in turns to choose how to spend each chunk of time that you put by.

You may only be able to create short bursts of time just for yourselves, so if this is the case try to accept it and see if you can be creative in finding mini ways of meeting your needs. A ten minute shoulder massage or sitting down together for a short but delicious foody treat will still have very positive effects.

5 tips for maintaining a healthy relationship

Seeing through new eyes

Another way to help rejuvenate a relationship that will impact both of you, is to explore the idea of seeing your partner through new eyes. When we first meet someone they are a bit of a mystery to us and it can feel a delight to get to know them over time. At some point it is very common for familiarity to creep in and for an assumption on one or both parts that we know all there is to this person.

A deeper perspective on this is that each of us are alive and continually growing beings. This means that there is always the chance to discover new things about each other; aspects that we may be blind to having been stuck in ourselves and our ability to perceive clearly.

Set yourself a challenge of opening your mind to your partner and if it doesn’t feel too weird to do so, imagine them as different things such as an animal, a tree, a weather and see if you can start to experience them more at the level of their energy rather than getting lost in their personality. You might be joyfully surprised at what you discover!

Keep communicating

Lastly, keep an ongoing check on your communication. Again it is very easy to slide into familiarity with the person that you are most intimate with and speak to them in a way that you rarely speak to others in. Remind yourself to treat them as you would like to be treated and take responsibility for your own feelings and needs rather than expecting another to second guess you or to take responsibility for changing how you feel.

Remember to verbally appreciate the other person and that like you, they are facing their own inner challenges and demons at times and doing the best that they can.

 

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About Jenny Smith

About Jenny Smith

Jenny Smith is a freelance writer and facilitator specialising in mental health, well-being and ecotherapy. She writes for National Mind and The Working Parent and facilitates training in the Work that Reconnects and Ecotherapy. She is inspired by nature, gardening, love and non-duality teachings

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